India Today - 2

1.) What will increase Hina Rabbani Khar's prestige?
Being renamed to Hina Rabbani Colaba.

2.) Why isn't Yeddyurappa resigning?
He still hasn't finished reading the almost 30,000-page Lokayukta report against him. How slow of him. And then they wonder why court cases drag on in India.

3.) When will Sachin make his hundredth hundred?
Hopefully before Chetan Bhagat stops making lists, because that means never.

Also check out: Predicti-wood and India Today
Image source: kim-kardashians.blogspot.com

Don't rename it, please.

It all started like this. We were in a History class, studying the Maratha period.

History teacher: What is Churchgate called?

Us: Churchgate.

History teacher: You got that one wrong. It's called Ahilyabai Holkar Chowk.

For one thing, that solved a mystery. I had wondered in vain why my BEST bus tickets always said Ahilyabai Holkar Chowk instead of Churchgate. It never struck me that that was Churchgate.

I've been noticing that renaming streets and localities is often ridiculous. Did you know that Marine Drive is now called Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose Marg? Are we supposed to say, "Look, we have a free lecture. Let's go to Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose Marg!"? Apparently not, beause they very smartly shortened it to NSC Bose Marg.

Calling the road that linked Andheri to Kurla the "Andheri-Kurla road" was a very sensible thing to do. But no. It got renamed to Sir Mathurdas V Marg. Now there is a very slim chance that we may go home and Google Sir Mathurdas, or Nashikrao Tirpude, or Nathibai Thakersey. Or even Dr. Deshmukh (that being a little difficult). Very slim. But it is so much easier to just tell the taxi driver to take you to Pedder Road. While I haven't been brave enough to tell one of them to take me to Dr. Deshmukh Road yet, I'm sure they're going to ogle, nastily.

Do you think it's a sense of misplaced patriotism that leads to this? It isn't 1947, after all. What the British built the British built. Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj has nothing to do with it.

Image source: www.community.animaxindia.com

It's raining, it's raining...

It's June, and the monsoons are almost here. In a few days the rain will drown every other sound. You will look out of your balcony and find the world mysterious and shrouded; only masked, though, because everything is still the same, people are going to work and going for movies.

There will be rain songs on the radio on the first day but you will eventually tire of them. Artists and poets will revel in the inspiration. A broken heart will run into many editions, quoting Oscar Wilde.

There will be people whose roofs leak and people who have no roofs at all, and these people will curse the rain. There will be children battling fever or something more sinister, and there will be children playing in the rain, laughing.

A few people will walk slowly in the streets, giving the rain every opportunity to cleanse them, praying for it to do so. Bikers feeling brave will fly past them. Trains will run with their doors and windows closed.

Colourful umbrellas will resist grey skies, and deep down, everyone will be glad, because the monsoons are eventful, and that is what this city thrives on.

P.S. : Deviating from usual policy, I am supporting violence: the death sentence handed out for an honour killing. Also traffic police being provided arms.

Antilla

We were visiting a friend's house the other day, because he was ill. He didn't look the part, and not finding much to sympathise about, we began joking around, checking Facebook (yes, it is the end of the world if you check Facebook when all your friends are right beside you), and also, staring out of the window. One of our stares registered Antilla, Mukesh Ambani's residence, the one he built for his wife. The building reminded me of a particular paragraph from a particular book:

"The residence of Mr. Peter Pett, the well-known financier, on Riverside Drive, New York, is one of the leading eyesores of that breezy and expensive boulevard. As you pass by in your limousine, or while enjoying ten cents' worth of fresh air on top of a green omnibus, it jumps out and bites at you. Architects confronted with it reel and throw up their hands defensively, and even the lay observer has a sense of shock. [...] It is a house that is impossible to overlook; and it was precisely for this reason that Mrs. Pett insisted on her husband's buying it, for she was a woman who liked to be noticed."

Doesn't this excite you? Don't you notice the similarities?

1. Mumbai is a lot like New York. Or isn't it? It must be.
2. Antilla is one of the leading eyesores of south Mumbai.
3. Architects confronted with it do reel.
4. It does bring on a sense of shock.
5. It is impossible to overlook.
6. Mr. Ambani bought it (built it, same difference) for his wife.

Also take note of the discrepancies:

1. Mr. Ambani is more than just a well-known financier.
2. You don't pass by in your limousine in Mumbai. You halt every two minutes on account of the traffic.
3. The buses are red, not green; and you'd be hard-pressed for fresh air. No offence to BEST, though. It is a perfectly efficient and well-managed bus service.
4. There is no writer to equal Wodehouse in Mumbai or anywhere else in the world.

P.S. For those wondering where Wodehouse enters the equation, it's because the afore-quoted paragraph has been written by him. The book is called Piccadilly Jim.

India Today

1.) Babus cannot impersonate war widows for too long.

2.) It's a colourfully vibrant and awe-inspiring spectrum. The two G's could mean gaffe (the whole episode) and gallows (for it remains to be seen whom). And we're all poised for 3G. We're so gullible.

3.) The news about America saying, "LOL, we were just kidding" about the UNSC permanent membership promise has been given the cold shoulder. We trust Obama even if he's taking his policy of change a bit too seriously.