My tryst with fiction

Here it is: I actually completed a piece of fiction that I’d started. It was supposed to be a story, but it turned out to be more of an experiment in very subtle magical realism than anything else. I posted the thing on Facebook, ready to brave all sorts of comments. This is what I got:

·        Better than Stephenie Meyer. Barely.

·        “Not so gud :/”

·        This isn’t fiction at all.

·        Hmm. Now check out this video.

Such lovely people. So why was my story/rambling/collection of words so strongly rejected? I have a clue. "But nothing much happens," a friend of mine intoned on the phone. This made me mad. "What does she mean nothing much happens, italicised no less?" I thought. I agree nothing much happens externally--the whole thing consists of a train ride and later, some tears; but aren't thoughts, memories, confusions and yearnings concrete incidents? Don't they usually affect the course of our lives more than "real" happenings? 

Or do people always expect extraordinary happenings and twists and morals in a story? Or am I unbelievably unimaginative?

Anyway, this episode taught me some things:

·        A little of what we hate is always present in ourselves.

·        I should have used fewer semicolons (like some writer said on his deathbed).

·        The people who encourage you are the people you are grateful to the most, because you are only human.

·        It is easy to criticise the writings of other people, and the ones who take the criticism seriously are the best of all. 

·        Never call your story Sunshine.

·        It doesn’t hurt much to dabble in things that are not your forte. 

Major Irritations

I had this post about spelling and grammar mistakes on signboards and posters, and I'd mentioned it was fun collecting them. This wasn't. The majority of the pictures here are from newspapers, and cost-cutting methods seem to have resulted in absolutely useless people called proofreaders being sacked. It's a sad, sad world.

It makes sense, although probably not in the way they intended.

I think proper grammar ought to be introduced.

Investigations have revealed that this person sucks at grammar.

Fishy.

Behold, the Chennai Kings of Supper!

What a yucky world.

This one was fun. I wonder what they teach.

Disclaimer: The images are shaky because my phone camera refuses to ever cooperate with me. I am trying to figure out what I did to provoke that sort of revenge.

A very thin line

I was reading the college prospectus today, and in the list of college societies, I came across "The Sindhi Circle" (or something similar). Now why was I suddenly on the verge of anger? Why did I want to scream, "Blasphemy!"? Then there was the Gujarati Association, the Hindi Parishad, the Marathi Vangmaya Samiti and so on.

I shouldn't have felt like screaming. Is it the world we live in, is it the values inculcated in us, that make most of us crinkle our noses at the slightest suggestion of communalism or linguism? These societies were founded, I can see now, with the best of intents: the preservation of regional languages and development of interest in them. Maybe I can blame the world (Religious factionalism and bigotry, Shiv Sena-MNS-ish linguism and regionalism) for making me paranoid. Or maybe I am right. Identification of communities, when used politically, often leads to loss of lives. I am not exaggerating.

Why, then, did I not object to the French Club or The English Association? These are languages, after all. All these societies receive the same platforms. Then again, there has never been any tension in India regarding the superiority of one of these languages over the other.

But people have always fought over Hindi, Marathi, Gujarati and several other languages; not to mention religions and castes. Are we, then, to lose all identity with regard to communities, make our surnames neutral, and blend into a homogeneous mass of a people with no variety? Or are we to continue to promote our own languages, dialects, religions, castes and risk going overboard like we always have?

Perhaps we should promote the communities of others, not ours. Utopia, I know. There was something someone (I don't remember who, it's very frustrating) said about how to keep discrimination at bay: breed with those outside your community, those outside your religion, country and if and when we come into contact with aliens, breed with them.
It isn't a foolproof method, but it's worked in the past. You can't tell an Aryan from a Dravidian now. Hail forbidden love!
I have a feeling it was APJ Abdul Kalam who suggested the breeding part. 

Do you agree?

There seems to be a dearth of issues on which to gauge public opinion. The TOI poll today asks if readers agree that Aarushi Talwar's parents are the only people who could have killed her. I'm not sure many respondents will have investigated the case or even read the CBI chargesheet. Does being a newspaper reader alone qualify you to pass judgement on such a case? You could argue that readers' opinions won't make any difference to the actual judgement passed by the courts. Then why conduct such a poll in the first place? It's dangerous to equate "Do you think it could be so?" with "Do you agree?"

For Advancing is Perfection

I change my stance about India. Newspapers inform me that all is not lost yet. I don't know if I trust newspapers anymore.


1.) A veil of a time: Women in rural Haryana (which is incidentally plagued by Khap panchayats) empower themselves through self-help groups, manage lakhs of rupees, hand out loans at 1% interest, educate their children, demolish liquor vends and best and most difficult of all, give up the veil.

2.) 82% voting in Jammu and Kashmir: The second phase of Panchayat polls records -- gasp! -- 82% turnout. I don't suppose even other states considerably less affected by violence record that sort of enthusiasm.

3.) Organ donations in Tamil Nadu hit 1k mark: This in a country largely riddled by superstitions and where people even refuse to vaccinate their children. More awareness and many lives could be saved, many more improved.

4.) Bombay Times: Below the header is a line that describes the supplement as an "Advertorial, Entertainment Promotional Feature." They've accepted it's paid news!

Intentions and Interference

There was this article in The Times of India today about disappearing sparrows and one man, Pramod Mane, who is doing all he can to protect sparrows in Mumbai. The article blamed the real-estate boom fed by the politician-builder nexus, the monstrous skyscrapers and predatory crows for sparrows' dwindling numbers.
They forgot pigeons. While I have absolutely no idea if pigeons eat sparrows (or their eggs or if they destroy their nests or commit similar unholy acts), I mention pigeons because they gave us a lesson: Don't do your bit to sustain sparrows if you live in a high-rise.

Mom, inspired by her sister (who doesn't live in a high-rise and consequently can bird-watch all day at close proximity), decided to keep something to eat and a bowl of water in our balcony for sparrows and other birds, if they would like to honour us thus. She wasn't thinking of pigeons. (No discrimination, there are just too many of them).

For the first two days, we looked on in wonder as the sparrows pecked at the food, struggling to put even the smallest grain in their mouth. It really is fun to watch them, provided you're blessed with tinted windows. Otherwise they fly away like they've spotted dragons (of course, they've probably heard sparrow folktales about how humans have tortured the best and strongest of sparrows).

So we were all happy and pleased about the good karma we had achieved, when on the third day, there were no sparrows. Only pigeons, gobbling up all the food. Now pigeons would have been tolerable had they not driven the sparrows away; but we did not have any sparrows after that day. Neither did we have pigeons, because we stopped keeping food in the balcony. Serves them right.